Aqui eu venho Brasil!

It was last Sunday when one of the bishopric came up to me and told me that my call was coming that following Wednesday, a week or two earlier than I was anticipating. I was with my little sister Sabrina at the time and after he walked away I looked at her and teared up. I'd like to say it was because I was feeling the Spirit, but (unfortunately) it was because I was so in shock and was afraid I was going to make a little puddle  right there in the church building if you know what I mean.
I'm a firm believer in the phrase, "replace your fear with faith." After a few minutes into Relief Society I was more okay with the idea of my call coming so soon. I was just caught off guard because I felt like I hadn't prepared emotionally or spiritually enough for me to be able to open it and actually find out where I was going. However, I was a wreck for the few days before it came.
My mom tells me all the time that I have a one track mind. When I want something bad enough I won't think about anything else and am a pain to be around. I got used to the idea of it coming and soon became afraid that for some reason it wouldn't come that week and I was certain I would die if it failed to come. You never hear about guys acting or feeling like this while they're waiting for their call. Maybe they do, but they just don't talk about it, like how guys tend to do. But like I told one of my friends, maybe it's the estrogen that makes girls go crazy over stuff like this ;)
Our mail usually comes around 3:45, which made Wednesday all that much more painful. When the countdown hit 30 minutes I just watched outside the window for the mailman, like the obsessive psycho I had become within those measly three days. It finally came and I literally screamed. Sabrina stood by the door ready to run out and grab it, my dad stood by the window with me making jokes that I was not in the mood for, and Madelaine was filming the whole ugly scene. When I say "ugly" I'm referring to my behavior, which was very much like a...hmmm I can't really think of the right comparison, but just trust me when I say "ugly."
I was so excited to see that it had actually come because that meant my suffering was almost over! After gathering the rest of my family, we sat down in the living room and I finally opened it. My plan was to be good and only read out loud where I was going without looking first and knowing before everyone. So of course that failed and my eyes immediately went to the location. I was, once again, in shock to see that I was called to go to Brazil. Almost every night and morning this summer I had prayed that I would go somewhere in South America, never really thinking that I would actually go there because it seemed (to me anyways) that people get called to serve where they want to go the least. I had prepared myself to accept going anywhere even if it meant having to announce to everyone that I would be serving the Salt Lake North mission. I mean, I really do believe that you're called to go where the Lord needs you the most. So anywhere is a blessing to go. I'm just really glad it's Brazil :)
Although it was a very spiritual moment for me, my family didn't disappoint in making it a little bit funny. After reading the letter, Madelaine screamed and laughed because she was right in guessing where I was going to be called, Sabrina cried (which was the cutest thing ever), my dad smiled and said "oh I know where that is" (especially funny because he's a geography teacher so duh of course he knows where it is), Jenna smiled and was excited in her own little Jenna way, and my mom did not look happy at all. South America was the last place she wanted me to go, but after a while she got more okay with the idea and started Googling everything there is to know about Brazil. So all in all it was a perfect portrayal of all their personalities; making me realize how much I'm going to miss them.
Obviously I'm blessed more than I deserve, but I can't wait to try and give back a little of what's been given to me. Santidade ao Senhor!

Trip to Manti

Last Thursday I went to the Manti Pageant for the first time! It was me, Kensey, Curtis and Adam and we went as part of Adam's birthday party-ish type thing. I drove the whole way which is a dream come true for me; those who know me know that one of my favorite things to do is drive, not necessarily well, but I still love it. Besides that it was great to hang out with three of my favorite people :)

We went to Fred's to eat, which is also the place where Chris knocked over a bunch of pictures with his butt and broke them. The owner, who happened to be a giant Polynesian, wasn't too happy. Good memories! I feel like I have a better connection with food workers since I've started working at Iceberg. More empathy for them or something. Like a sister/brotherhood. Of cholesterol. Man I can't wait to not work there anymore.

Anyways, the main point of this was to tell how great the pageant was! There were some parts that were a little hokey, but the message was great. The biggest spiritual punch came for me when Christ visited the Nephites. I've always loved reading about this. While watching this part of the play, Adam and I talked about how each of those Nephites had a personality, their own unique characteristics. And how Christ knew each one individually and intimately, how he knows all of us more than anyone ever could.

The Atonement is the most incredible event that has and ever will happen. I'm so grateful for that and for everything else in my life because I know it's all a result of the love that Heavenly Father and his Son have for me. And I can't wait to share this knowledge that I have with others for 18 months.

Lessons on waiting...and waiting.

This summer has gone by pretty quickly, more than I ever thought it would.  Two months ago coming home from Ephraim seemed like the most horrible prospect, but so far it's been much better than I anticipated.  Yeah my social life is comparable to the Dust Bowl, but my family's made up for it.  I forgot how much fun it was to just be around my sisters; even when they do things like yell "bingo" and hit me on the arm whenever they see a yellow car.  

The biggest focus of my summer is, of course, working on my mission papers.  And how close am I?  A crown and a couple of fillings away before I finally get those cursed/blessed forms sent on their merry way.  Don't get me wrong, I use such contrasting descriptions in the best possible way.  Cursed because I want to turn them in so bad I'd give up my favorite hand to do it, (which by the way is my right hand, not because it's my dominant but because I think my fingers are more evenly spaced than the left), and blessed because, well, duh it's serving the Lord!  

I have a very one-track mind; if something is important enough to me I can't seem to focus on anything else until I finish my ultimate goal.  Unless it's something crafty, then I give up after five minutes or whenever I end up krazy gluing my hand to my arm.  I won't have my papers turned in for a few more weeks now because my dentist appointments are a little ways down the road and it's been driving me up the wall!  I'm so close to knowing when and where I'm going, but I'm still so far away from knowing. The moral of this experience?  Take better care of your teeth.  Take in more calcium.  Oh yeah, and maybe have some patience ;)  It'll be worth it!

Coming to the Close

I never cry. At least not in front of people. I know it's not a sign of weakness, but some deep physiological element keeps me from actually believing it. Only one thing can really push me past this deep-rooted thought and that's the impending reality that I'll be leaving my roommates.

Taking things for granted is my true major and calling in life. Kensey's excitement and volume, Kenna's appreciation for the small things in life, like chins, and Shawnee's caring as well as her consistent clogging of the toilet. It's all going to leave me in only a couple of months, and I'll never get it back. No one is going to try to be like Wim Hoff with me, no one is going to watch the weird, hidden images on the ceiling with me, and no one is going to laugh about slightly inappropriate things with me. But what I will get to keep are the impressions and quirks I've gotten from all three of them.
These past (almost) two years are quickly running away from me, but I don't need to try to chase after them. I'm going to do the best I can with the people who recognize the best in me, and I in them.

"Rant" of the Roommates

Kenna's doing some crazy biology studying, Kensey's tackling chemistry with Kevin as usual, and Shawnee's actually taking a nap, which only happens once every 19 years. And I'm sitting on the couch doing nothing...besides feeling incredibly and irrevocably happy.
Having these roommates has been everything to me. I can't imagine being with anyone else at this point in my life and I wonder how things would have turned out had I made some different decisions only a year ago. I highly doubt I would have burned a sink, jumped off a hay bale, or stolen apartment doors with anyone else.
Kenna is the only other person I've met who can watch "Cats" and "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" without popping a blood vessel. She's my reminder to blow things off and to be inhumanly chill. Only Kenna can stop while on a walk through a field and say, "Have you ever really looked at grass? Can you imagine the world without it? It's so cool!" Despite the fact that when she says things like this I'll turn to her and laugh my head off, I admire her talent to stop and point out the things that should be obvious which oftentimes aren't. Not to mention her amazing dance skills.
Then there's Kensey. I never knew how loud silence really could be until I met her. When she's not home, all sounds are gone; she is totally and completely a sonic boom. Her volume and knack for having fun make everything incredibly exciting. Sunday school is like a trip to Lagoon. Kens may be crazy and wild, but she also has a strong testimony. Even if she doesn't fully realize it. We get up every morning to read our scriptures together because of her encouragement.
And of course there is Shawnee, the one I've known "for longer than forever." At least it seems like it! Her good example and ability to make friends anywhere makes her vital to our apartment. From stalkers to snakes, we always have something interestingly funny going on with her here. She's the only one who has really seen me cry and we're going to keep it that way. I'm so grateful to have her here to help me through hard times.
My roommates are pretty flippin' sweet. This year has already been wonderfully strange, hilarious, spiritual and full of hot founding fathers. It breaks my heart to think about it ever ending, but I now have a clearer understanding of my future because of them. Kenna, Kensey and Shawnee will always be my Nacho soulmates :)

What if people started using their blogs like facebook? Posting only a couple of unnecessary lines? OMgoodness!

Growing up summer

Usually my summer's are made up of watching endless cartoons, swimming, eating candy like it's nobody's business and slowly cooking in a house without air conditioning.  Now here I  am, one blink away from being 20, and I realize that this is my first summer as an adult.
Age, surprisingly, has very little to do with it; it's mostly about prioritizing.  Now I work 8 hours a day, talk to my coworkers about their kids, watch Criminal Minds, eat salad and worry about making ends meet for the coming school year.
I love it.  Being a kid is wonderful, but I love growing up and discovering that the 9th graders aren't incredibly wise and old.  I love being the one to look at the 5 year-olds thinking, "they're going to have so much fun in high school."
I read the news, I ponder often, and I worry about everyone else around me.  Halloween is fun, but I won't get that sinking feeling in my stomach once it's over.  The big kids on the block are now the ones getting their first grandchild.  I don't regret moving on from high school; it was a blast, but now it's over. 
God can see my life on a small storyboard, and as they years go on I am privileged to look back and see exactly what he was writing and why.  I have an unlimited amount of hesitation and vasillation, but I'll move forward because there's a pattern of things just getting better and better.