It was last Sunday when one of the bishopric came up to me and told me that my call was coming that following Wednesday, a week or two earlier than I was anticipating. I was with my little sister Sabrina at the time and after he walked away I looked at her and teared up. I'd like to say it was because I was feeling the Spirit, but (unfortunately) it was because I was so in shock and was afraid I was going to make a little puddle right there in the church building if you know what I mean.
I'm a firm believer in the phrase, "replace your fear with faith." After a few minutes into Relief Society I was more okay with the idea of my call coming so soon. I was just caught off guard because I felt like I hadn't prepared emotionally or spiritually enough for me to be able to open it and actually find out where I was going. However, I was a wreck for the few days before it came.
My mom tells me all the time that I have a one track mind. When I want something bad enough I won't think about anything else and am a pain to be around. I got used to the idea of it coming and soon became afraid that for some reason it wouldn't come that week and I was certain I would die if it failed to come. You never hear about guys acting or feeling like this while they're waiting for their call. Maybe they do, but they just don't talk about it, like how guys tend to do. But like I told one of my friends, maybe it's the estrogen that makes girls go crazy over stuff like this ;)
Our mail usually comes around 3:45, which made Wednesday all that much more painful. When the countdown hit 30 minutes I just watched outside the window for the mailman, like the obsessive psycho I had become within those measly three days. It finally came and I literally screamed. Sabrina stood by the door ready to run out and grab it, my dad stood by the window with me making jokes that I was not in the mood for, and Madelaine was filming the whole ugly scene. When I say "ugly" I'm referring to my behavior, which was very much like a...hmmm I can't really think of the right comparison, but just trust me when I say "ugly."
I was so excited to see that it had actually come because that meant my suffering was almost over! After gathering the rest of my family, we sat down in the living room and I finally opened it. My plan was to be good and only read out loud where I was going without looking first and knowing before everyone. So of course that failed and my eyes immediately went to the location. I was, once again, in shock to see that I was called to go to Brazil. Almost every night and morning this summer I had prayed that I would go somewhere in South America, never really thinking that I would actually go there because it seemed (to me anyways) that people get called to serve where they want to go the least. I had prepared myself to accept going anywhere even if it meant having to announce to everyone that I would be serving the Salt Lake North mission. I mean, I really do believe that you're called to go where the Lord needs you the most. So anywhere is a blessing to go. I'm just really glad it's Brazil :)
Although it was a very spiritual moment for me, my family didn't disappoint in making it a little bit funny. After reading the letter, Madelaine screamed and laughed because she was right in guessing where I was going to be called, Sabrina cried (which was the cutest thing ever), my dad smiled and said "oh I know where that is" (especially funny because he's a geography teacher so duh of course he knows where it is), Jenna smiled and was excited in her own little Jenna way, and my mom did not look happy at all. South America was the last place she wanted me to go, but after a while she got more okay with the idea and started Googling everything there is to know about Brazil. So all in all it was a perfect portrayal of all their personalities; making me realize how much I'm going to miss them.
Obviously I'm blessed more than I deserve, but I can't wait to try and give back a little of what's been given to me. Santidade ao Senhor!
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